I recently had a really important revelation about what it means to prioritize and how important it is to keep those goals in mind. I started off this term on the right foot - I got into two theatre productions I really wanted to do, I was having fun in my sorority, my classes were absolutely fantastic - things couldn't have been better. And then I got distracted...by (you guessed it!) a boy. Don't worry this story doesn't end in tears. I love getting to know new people and this was a really exciting chapter in my life but over the next two weeks, I really lost sight of the goals I had set for myself. I stopped listening as much in classes, I barely looked at my scripts, I stopped reading the news (which usually I love to do on a daily basis! Keeping up with the world can be really interesting but you have to keep up with it - it tends to move on without you).
So there I was. Sitting on my bed. Complaining to a friend. I felt behind: I wasn't putting any work into the different aspects of my life. I was putting nothing into my passions and I was getting nothing back. Logically. My friend just looked at me. I then got a good dose of tough love. She simply opened my eyes to the fact that I had let my life slide because of a boy. My friend turned to me and said that this was happening because I had gotten so distracted. I couldn't believe that I had lost myself so easily in such a short time. College is short and the time that you spend here is precious.
Now I am not saying that great romances aren't a lot of fun or that you shouldn't totally put yourself out there for that special boy. I am also not saying that you can't have both. I am saying that so often girls can feel defined by our love lives and how "successful" or "unsuccessful" we are. Women are continually judged by their relationship status - whether women are single or not matters so much to everyone else! I had bought into this image of what being "successful" when it was exactly this "success" that was preventing me from achieving my real goals. This can be seen all over the media and the news. Take Taylor Swift - how often is her music judged by the latest boy she's dating? Or how often is she mentioned in the media for who she's dating as opposed to the work she's doing? There are also very positive role models out there. Angelina Jolie is a brilliant woman who has managed to turn her media spotlight to super important issues! Although you can still read about her kids and husband (and who wouldn't want to), she is also regularly profiled for the all the amazing humanitarian work she does. UNHCR ambassador, building schools all over the world, making education more accessible for girls - just listing them is inspiring.
I am not out saving the world right now... but one day I would like to be. Although this boy is a wonderful one - he is also not what I need to be concentrating on right now. I had sacrificed what I really wanted to be working on for fleeting happiness. I panicked but luckily had the greatest girlfriend to give me some good advice.
How to find your path again (according to my brilliant roommate):
Now I am not saying that great romances aren't a lot of fun or that you shouldn't totally put yourself out there for that special boy. I am also not saying that you can't have both. I am saying that so often girls can feel defined by our love lives and how "successful" or "unsuccessful" we are. Women are continually judged by their relationship status - whether women are single or not matters so much to everyone else! I had bought into this image of what being "successful" when it was exactly this "success" that was preventing me from achieving my real goals. This can be seen all over the media and the news. Take Taylor Swift - how often is her music judged by the latest boy she's dating? Or how often is she mentioned in the media for who she's dating as opposed to the work she's doing? There are also very positive role models out there. Angelina Jolie is a brilliant woman who has managed to turn her media spotlight to super important issues! Although you can still read about her kids and husband (and who wouldn't want to), she is also regularly profiled for the all the amazing humanitarian work she does. UNHCR ambassador, building schools all over the world, making education more accessible for girls - just listing them is inspiring.
I am not out saving the world right now... but one day I would like to be. Although this boy is a wonderful one - he is also not what I need to be concentrating on right now. I had sacrificed what I really wanted to be working on for fleeting happiness. I panicked but luckily had the greatest girlfriend to give me some good advice.
How to find your path again (according to my brilliant roommate):
- Set small achievable goals: don't try and accomplish everything all at once, you will only end up disappointed in yourself. Set goals that you know can get done. Ticking something off that to-do list (no matter how small) is a great feeling
- Re-evaluate: look at your priorities. What do you really want to be achieving? How can you get there?
- Spend time with yourself. There is no shame - in fact, it's encouraged - in getting a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate with yourself. Or going on a sunset walk by yourself - think of the instagrammable opportunities.
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